Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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