His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
