Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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