don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the condom got lost in my hair
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
