I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
