the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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