I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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