we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
