i would punch a child for taco bell
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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