So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
