i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
