he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
