TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
