Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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