i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
