Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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