just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
