Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
