I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
