That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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