i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
