CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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