I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
