I only kidnapped one of them. chill
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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