Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
