i wish semen tasted like chocolate
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
