Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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