Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
