So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
