so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
