Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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