the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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