Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
