watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
