Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
