I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
