i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
