I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
