Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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