covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
