Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
