So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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