Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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