Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
