Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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