WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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