Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
