HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
