that's an acceptable place to lick
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
