No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
