Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
